Do You Trust Your Husband to Watch the Kids?

Marriage, do you trust your husband to watch the kids,As crazy as the title sounds, I had this conversation with a married friend recently.  She had this conversation with her married friend recently. And it seems to be a popular topic… trusting a husband with his own children.

I ran into one of my married girlfriends who asked me about the guy I was dating.  This lead into a conversation about dating, marriage, love, finding a good partner, etc., the usual topics that come up when asked about your booski. Fast forward a few minutes into the conversation and my friend tells me that during an outing with her other married girlfriends, one of them said,

“So who’s watching the girls?”

Perplexed, my friend answers,

“My husband.”  Right.  Like who else?

This is where the blank stares of all blank stares come in.  Her friend responds with,

“You TRUST your husband to watch YOUR children?”  *insert record scratch*

As a non-married woman, I was in shock.  I do not think I need to be married to know that her question is wrong and concerning on so many levels.  What does she mean, “do you TRUST your husband to watch YOUR children”?  And since when are the children just hers?  Marriage, to me, is the shiznit… when done right.  It’s a lifetime partnership that I look forward to in the future.  But what part of the game is this?  When did mothers/wives become to scared to leave the children with the father?

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Eva Langoria and Tony Parker call it quits

I hope no one is surprised that this didn’t last.  I didn’t get them from the beginning nor their “fairytale” wedding.  Didn’t she even get a tattoo of him or his name somewhere on her body shortly after the start of their relationship?  She seemed way more into it than him which makes sense, since she was already in her 30s and he was barely 25. 

Eva has filed for divorce on the grounds of irreconcilable differences stating she found 100 texts between her hubby and the wife of a former teammate, Brent Barry.   Reports are saying that Tony and Mrs. Barry did not have a physical relationship though.  But Eva’s friends are saying that she put way more effort into the marriage.  Making sure she was at most, if not all his home and away games.  They also say there were bouts of jealousy and when they were going to have children.    

Some are asking “since when has texting becoming cheating?”   I guess it became cheating when it was kept from his wife 100 texts ago, maybe?

Bombshell Diaries.1 “I’m 18 and abused”

I’ve been getting emails from people talking and asking me about everything under the sun.  Some want to know why I’m so crazy, what do I think they should do about something a boyfriend did, how do I feel about interracial dating, why am I so stupid (lol), why am I so hard on women, am I racist because I support Obama (wtf?!?)..you name it, it’s been sent to me.  A friend of mine suggested I share some of them along with my opinion so here goes. 

2 weeks ago I got an email from a young lady who is being abused by her boyfriend… she’s 18.  I’ve scratched out her email for privacy.

Subject:  Hello
From:  >
Date:  Sat, Oct 30, 2010 9:01 am
To:  anjie3000@6footbombshell.com

 

 
Hello 6footbombshell,
 
I follow you on a few sites.  I have a bf I’ve been with for 2 years and I luv him.  I am 18 and I want to marry him.  He’s 25 and my mom and dad hate him.  He hits me all the time and I’m not sure what I should do.  He ahas 2 other girls prego at the same time and has 3 kids.  The last fight  I fell down the stairs and lost my front tooth.  most of the time he’s super sweet…wut should I do?
Randi 

Wow.  Where do I even begin?  Randi, love doesn’t hurt nor take out front teeth.  You should not tolerate violence on ANY level.  Your parents hate him for a good reason.  But I bet they hated him before the first hit because of his age.  If you have been with him for 2 years that means you were seeing him when you were 16 and he was 23.  That’s strike one and a red flag.  I’m curious to what your state’s legal age of consent is. There’s so many things wrong with this situation.. even if he has never hit you once he has 3 children at 25 years-old and he has cheated on you and got 2 other ladies pregnant.  Even if he never cheated on you, he beats you.  So there’s nothing “super sweet” about this man.  Also, have you been tested for any diseases?  If he has 2 chicks pregnant at the same time I can only imagine how many other women he’s been with at the same time.  I think the answer is very simple:  GO GET TESTED AND LEAVE HIM ALONE.  But that will only happen once you realize your self-worth.  Once you realize that you’re worth more than broken teeth and a black eye, you won’t even consider a man that’s less than a man.  And anyways YOU’RE TOO DAMN YOUNG to be thinking about marriage.  Go and enjoy life.  Go to the prom if you haven’t already.  Date.  Go to college and have fun.  At 18 me and my girls were in college and partying state-to-state.  None of us thinking about marrying some older man let alone getting beat up by one.  Go enjoy your life…WITHOUT him.

I ain’t saying she’s a gold digger…

Today on the Michael Baisden show a caller made the statement that women who date for money are prostitutes.   When Mr. Baisden posted this caller’s statement on Facebook, naturally a storm brewed.  The responses were surprisingly mixed.  I knew most, if not all the men would agree to the statement but there were a few ladies who also agreed.  The rest of the ladies flat-out disagreed.  This caller’s statement and the replies from Mr. Baisden’s post made one thing very clear: there’s a double standard when women “date for money”.

Since the dawn of time women have been told that the man is the provider, the bread-winner.  That he’s supposed to “take care of us” and he “brings home the bacon”.  Mothers AND fathers have been telling their baby girls “you better not bring no broke fool home”.  How many times have we heard of parents, family members and friends make disparaging remarks when a loved one  introduced their mechanic boyfriends?  We see it time after time in every book or movie or household of people we know of how proud parents are when Suzie brings home a doctor or lawyer with their own flourishing practice but lack luster emotion when Suzie brings home a man just making 35k a year.  In almost every outlet and every aspect of our lives society is telling women to date for money.  Especially in every media outlet.  Most movies are about some chick getting swept away by a rich Prince Charming.  On TV most if not all of the women of any of the Real Housewives reality series, married  a rich or wealthy man.  And in music, that message telling women to go with the rich guy is even more apparent.  I can name a list of R&B and/or Hip Hop songs that reference the male artist spending exuberant amounts of money on women.. women they just met in a club at that.

I’m going to spend a stack on her; Throw it in the bag for her; Drop a couple grand on her; Took her on expensive trips and bought her expensive gifts; Gucci this, Louis that, Christian Louboutin this, Guisseppie that; I love this stripper so much I’m going to take her out of this club and make her mine by spending all these stacks on her.

I can keep going and going and going.

Men, too, are the culprits in this as well.  I’ve seen men wearing their cash on them like a badge.  I’ve seen men flash their money around women.  I’ve seen men who have done some of the things I mentioned above that’s in almost all of the songs being played on any urban radio station.  I had a man who cussed me out after I refused to accept a gift that I thought was inappropriate because it was way to expensive.  I knew him less than 2 weeks and had only went out to dinner with him and on the 2nd date he presents a diamond bracelet.   Alot of men endorse this behavior.  Some of it I understand because society is telling them that they’re SUPPOSED to give their women whatever she wants.  But does that make him a John?

Does wanting a man who is financially stable mean “you’re dating for money”?   Is it wrong for a woman who makes 200k to ask for a man who matches that?  Or is it only wrong when the woman makes only 40k to want a man to make six figures?  Is it wrong for a woman to want her man or husband to be able to provide a financially secure household, to be able to give her gifts and take her on trips?

What surprised me were the responses on Michael Baisden’s page from women who flat-out said “if you want to deal with me then you gotta pay.”   And I think that’s where the double standard comes in.  Society and this “unwritten rule” can say the man is supposed to take care of us and be the financial provider but the woman can’t say it.  It sounds bad when a woman says it.  Or is it all about semantics?  Is the wording wrong?  I do think of shallowness when I hear a woman say “I only date men with money.”  There will never be a day when women go around saying “I only date men with no jobs and no money” ?   That will never happen.

Disclaimer:  I do not date for money just so we’re clear lol