Dating. Who made it so difficult? Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, women are in a rush to get married, men don’t want to be rushed into marriage. Women have time frames for certain actions with men. Men act all cool and nonchalant when they meet a girl. We’ve heard it all. But who made up all these rules? Unwritten rules, that is.
During a usual incessant visit on Twitter a tweet from a young lady stated she met someone but she wasn’t going to call first because she didn’t want to look thirsty. To my non “urban” followers, lol, thirsty is slang for desperate or pressed. So if you ever hear someone use “thirsty” in reference to you, that’s not a good look. Anywho. I responded to the tweet and said that I thought she should call him. After she promptly shot my idea down, it made me ask myself why we make some of the decisions we make when it comes to the opposite sex. This lady’s reservation about calling first is an age old topic. I know a lot of women who think the same way. I’ve hesitated a time or two in calling a guy that I’ve met. But why? Where did we get this idea that we shouldn’t call first? Who wrote this “rule”? I can’t reference where I saw this information and no one has a passed down story indicating where they first heard that a woman should not call a man first that she just met.
Many of us are guilty for following these unwritten rules. There must be a bible of dating out there that we’ve never seen but practice faithfully. There’s the rule of no kissing on the first date. You have women with a 3 month time frame before sex. Women are judged if they have sex to soon with a man. Women shouldn’t pay for dates. Men don’t want to look like a punk for liking a woman to soon. Women shouldn’t call first or it looks desperate. Who made all this crap up? We left the Stone Age a million years ago. Some of these rules are silly as hell. So you meet a guy and the connection was really positive. Say the paper he wrote your number on fell out his pocket when he pulled out his wallet or money? Or he threw his jeans in the washer when he got home and forgot to empty the pockets? Or he thought he pressed “save” after entering your number in his phone? You’re sitting around really feeling this dude, your interest is peeked and you’re not going to call because he hasn’t called you. This man can possibly be the King you’re waiting for and because of some unofficial rule on not calling, you let him slip through your fingers. The same goes for you men as well. You don’t want to look “soft” for calling a chick to soon… but yet you haven’t stopped thinking about her since you met. Smh. Who made this crap up?
The conversation on twitter continued for a few more tweets and she was adamant that it was a sign of dehydration if she called this man first. I suggested that it wasn’t actually dehydration but just going after what you want. She damn near broke her finger typing ‘LOL’. Then I pulled out my smoking gun and asked: “Is the man thirsty if he calls you first?” *BOOM*
So do these rules still really exist? How many of you believe women still shouldn’t pay for dates? Or that we shouldn’t make the first phone call? Or better yet, make the first move….sexually? I know women who believe that they should not initiate sex with the men in their lives. WHAT?! I think a woman should absolutely make the first call if she wants to. I’m not talking about he gives you his number and you call before you leave the store and then 15 times before you get to the car. A man is not a punk or soft for wanting to call the lady that’s been on his mind since she captured his attention with her conversation. There’s a difference between desperation and a confident women seeing a man on the street that has caught her attention and introducing herself. I say write your own rules. A closed mouth never gets fed!