I was watching an episode of Tiny & Toya. The episode I am speaking about is when Tiny drops T.I. off to jail. She comes to her mom’s house afterwards and discusses with her mom her sadness about TIP being in jail. What shocked me the most was that her mom was actually supportive. Her mom tells her to stick by her man and love him through this process. I have laughed about the countriness of Tiny and her mom but I also envy the connection they have. Her mom has taught her daughter how to be a supportive wife and good mother.
Our mom’s are our heroes, confidantes, and at times the wisest person we know. We look up to them as the supreme being of a WOMAN. We have seen them through marriages, divorces and dating. Why wouldn’t they be all knowing when it comes to matters of the heart? Sadly they are not. They are just like our girlfriends that we go to for advice. They don’t have all the answers…
Ask yourself these questions:
a.) Does she take her own advice?
b.) Does she have a bitter attitude towards men. If she does, you will be better off doing the opposite of what she tells you. I would compare her to a single girlfriend who can’t keep a man.
c.) Look at her marriage. This is the most important. How does she treat her spouse? Is it with love? Are their words of encouragement between them. Do they openly express their love for each other? Are they affectionate towards each other?
Some mother’s teach their daughter to be strong, which is excellent, but at times it can be a downfall. Have we been taught to nurture our men, to love and support them? I was taught to show that I can do it on my own with or without a man. It’s good to have some independence but not at the cost of your relationship. It’s okay to tell your man you love him and believe in him. It’s okay to show him affection when you see him.
Ladies, at the end of the day, when our hearts are broken the easiest person to run to is our mom’s. We want them to tell us we are okay. We have to know from the inside that we are okay. If you are in a wonderful relationship that your mom doesn’t approve of, you must have that trust within yourself to know that you know yourself better than anyone. Better yet, if you have a break up and your mom tells you not to cry or toughen up please know that it is okay to grieve a lost relationship. It doesn’t take your black strong woman card. You will always have that, because it’s in your ancestry.
Our mom’s do things out of love. I think they become critical when they do not want us to make the same mistakes they did. You are human. You will make mistakes. Mistakes are good. They help us not to navigate back towards that path.
Our mom’s love us and will almost do anything to avoid us from being hurt in a relationship. Mom’s are humans. We must remember that. They have been hurt, abused, and loved. If your mom can’t direct you towards being a strong, nurturing, loving wife and mother, steer clear from her advice. Listen, but listen to your inner self more. Mom’s want to always remain our heroes. Take their advice, but with caution.