Clues Your Man is Married

Having one of our usual instant message conversations to make it through a hideous workday, Mimi and I jokingly come up with clues your man is married:

MimiFree: I have some clues your man is married
MimiFree: There’s a scale in his bathroom.
AnjelMarie: lol
MimiFree: I had a guy send me a picture of his junk and there was a scale in the picture.  I said ‘you live with a woman”.  Men don’t have scales unless they are body builders.  I was right.
AnjelMarie: Yes, you sure are Mimi!
AnjelMarie: You have never been in his house.  (He’s not that stupid to have you step foot in the house his wife lays her head)
AnjelMarie: You can never hook up with him or go out on dates ESPECIALLY on the weekends. (Weekends are for the wife and kids.)
AnjelMarie: There’s a tan or an imprint on his wedding finger.  (Enough said)
MimiFree: You can never reach him when you want to.  Only when he calls is when you talk to him.
AnjelMarie: Or when you do call he always replies with a text.  (This is much more discreet)
MimiFree: You can’t reach him after 8 or whatever time his wife gets off work.
MimiFree: Pays cash for everything.
AnjelMarie: LOL!  Right!  Credit card purchases leaves a trace.  He knows his wife is Inspector Gadget!
MimiFree: Has two cell phones but doesn’t have a job that requires him to carry a “business” phone. (Ladies, the 2nd phone is around because the 1st phone is tracked by the wife.  She opens the invoices and pays the bills.  She’s going to see all his calls to you at 2 a.m. and then he’s busted.)
AnjelMarie: He always ALWAYS wants to only come over YOUR house.
AnjelMarie: Never EVER any public outings.
MimiFree: Only meets on one side of town
MimiFree: The opposite side of where you met him
AnjelMarie: LOL!  Stop it Mimi.  You’re killing me!
AnjelMarie: OH!  He’s persistent about seeing you on a specific day at a specific time.. like Tuesday at 4:43 p.m. exactly.
MimiFree: lol
AnjelMarie: like there are nooooooo other days in the week
AnjelMarie: That’s because that’s the day wifey works late
MimiFree: Pattern of calls
MimiFree: Monday at 7
MimiFree: Tuesday at 10
MimiFree: Thursday at 7
AnjelMarie: and Wednesday at 2 a.m.  (When the wife is comatose)
MimiFree: No other time during the week
AnjelMarie: On a Sunday!
MimiFree: lol
AnjelMarie: That’s family day.  Kids gotta get ready for school.  Wife has to prep the Sunday meal. And Lifetime Movie Network aallll day so he can’t sneak out the house to call you because she propped up on the sofa watching tv.
AnjelMarie: Oh.. and this one applies to the old school cats…
AnjelMarie: If you don’t have his home #, HE’S MARRIED!
AnjelMarie: All old school cats have house phones!
MimiFree: LOL!

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